Saturday, January 17, 2015

Some of the things I won't miss about Parenthood

Let me say that I have watched over ninety episodes and I am closing in on the final season. So you could say I am a Parenthood devotee. Saying that there are some things I wont miss. The first will be the uber couple Adam and Kristina. These two seem to have some pack of kryptonite the rest of us mortals do not possess. Not only does Adam lose his job and land on his feet but he starts a recording studio with his brother Crosby that becomes enormously successful so much so that he passes up a couple million dollars in a buyout option after realizing that it is his brothers raison dete. Add a child and Kristina's cancer and a mayoral run by her and then starting a Charter School for their autistic son all the while navigation family crisis with elan and grace and money few of us possess and you have a most obnoxious fantasy middle class couple of the Berkley  super enlightened type.

I will also not miss the ever sexual Sarah billed as the siren who cannot fight off men fast enough. From the boyish Mr Sear (sic) to the hangdog Hank to the doctor in her apartment building to Seth her drunken ex rocker husband no one can get enough of her funny goofy cant get it together persona and the fact she always looks like a million buck no  matter how many crisis she navigates which brings us to her children.  Drew and Amber

Amber cannot be Bohemian enough for the writers. From her loft apartment that is always open to her strumming guitar to her I will have sex with anybody who moves me to her taking in broken men (Ryan) to her determination that she will be who she is to right to the point of having sex with someone in a body cast and getting pregnant and not getting why everyone isn't crazy enthusiastic over it except for Zeke the over top grandfather who we will get to in a few minutes. Forget that she blows a job working on a campaign by getting it on with the candidate or her series of jobs that go nowhere because she seems to never be shot of cash.

Drew they should have cut his character. Right off the bat. One hang dog Berkley angst ridden brooding  middle class kid (see Hattie who eventually reveals she is gay) is enough. So lets cut to Joel and Julia. Joel is probably the worst actor there or maybe the best. Just look conflicted with a hardhat and leave your smart sexy wife because she shows up at your work and then brood for a year. He deserves his white prison cell condo. What a dope.  Julia at least is who she is and is about the only character who doesn't go in for touchy feely emotional masturbation.

Then we have Crosby the eternal boy wonder /artist. Will he ever quit being the Crosby do the teenager thing? Married to another beautiful woman he effortly skates to success with Adam being the creative force of the studio while doing just about every bone head thing they can come up with  until be becomes the perfect dad with his African American wife and son all the while managing to be the token black sheep who is lovable even as he has sex with Max's (autistic child) tutor. (Everyone has tutors and therapists is no object)

Zeke is just nuts (should have quit with Poltergeist) and his wife Millie (should have stopped with John McClains ex wife in Die Hard I) has had way too much plastic surgery and too busy wilting through every scene as her husband plays the obnoxious patriarch busy setting the table in the back so they can have another family dinner. Because no one works and drops in at each other places of employment to discuss interpersonal issues and what the hell everyone is living in nice homes in Berkley and so lets go to dads before he sells the place and moves to another giant house complete with long table for family get togethers.

So...I will miss Parenthood. I actually really liked the series even with all it's flaws. Maybe I am as nuts as the characters. It does take one to know one.

Books by William Hazelgrove