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Monday, July 7, 2014

One Hundred and Fifty Million Hotdogs

One hundred and fifty million hotdogs were consumed over the Fourth of July. So what does this say about Americans? Be it Chicago Dogs or New York Dogs foot longs or wieners...we love our hotdogs. We are a fun loving nitrate eating people who really owe a debt to that German vendor who improvised one day at a baseball game when he ran out of bacon and started offering sausages wrapped in a bun. We don't really care that much about what is really in a hotdog after all that scare tactics of the hotdog haters of the world.

And while the World Cup played on we were busy slathering our 150 million hotdogs with tons of ketchup and mustard and relish and onions. And how many pickles did we consume? Lets give us one pickle for every two hotdogs and we are at seventy five million pickles. The cucumber farmers must love this holiday. And that also means we inhaled 150 million buns. And used 150 million napkins and you know we had to have something to drink.

So what...one hundred million gallons of pop? Lets give a quarter of the dogs fries. 35 million fries and how many spuds does that convert to...well...you get the picture. And the funny part is people all over the world love hotdogs too. They see it as the American food. So while the rest of the world was losing their mind over soccer we were clenching our nitrate tubes of animal parts and clogging our hearts and stirring up the toxins.

Ah...Happy Birthday America! And please pass the mustard.

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The Pitcher

Books by William Hazelgrove