Wednesday, February 6, 2013

The War Against Boys

They don't see the world the same. Girls and boys. Take building a teddy bear that I did with my daughter. The girls at the end of the table are stuffing their bears and putting in the heart and putting on the dress and the beads and the crown and getting the bag and putting the bear in the bag and filling out the birth certificate....while the boys...the boys. They are just opening up the back of the bear and stuffing it with the spun plasticized cotton candy but not without assistance. And even the ones who did it have lost interest and are looking around. What to do next? The moms move in and do it for them while the girls are already animating their bears, talking to each other, playing patty cake. They rocked in build a bear Olympics.

And it is not the boys fault. Society has changed. Those hunters are just not finding the game anymore. Even the nascent wired brains of the boys are not finding the natural stimulus. They are not seeing the tiger or the elephant. While the girls have the cave all set up and are already planning dinner. Because the informational world requires multitasking right off the bat. School is set up for multitasking and the boys used to get a pass. They were boys. They were the movers and shakers and Little Billy really didn't have to be so good at math or reading. Just be a boy because boys will be boys. Not anymore.

Boys will be boys with Adderall. Or Focalin. Or Vivanayse. There is a nation of ADD boys out there and nobody knows what to do with them. Be a little man. Do not react. But with emotional rigidity comes the inability to have emotional intelligence. The cave man thing only works for the NFL and it is even having trouble there. The highly wired info world does not have any patience with Joey kicking his football  in the backyard and only if he is going to the NFL. Otherwise he should be boning up on math and science, two subjects Joey is terrible at.

And so he goes on the drugs and now he really cant sit still. In fact he looks like he might jump out of his chair any minute and frequently does. He just doesn't get it and can't follow commands. His uptake is slow. He doesn't respond. Not like little Suzy who is on her IPAD and already got her home work done and looking for more while she is attending after school enrichment and she has her clothes laid out and is already dressed while Johnny can't find his socks, his belt, his shoes. Boys will be boys. Amp up the Adderall.

And it is sad because we haven't figured out where these boys go. They don't even have recess anymore and only a few can make the teams so that leaves the rest of us  to deal with these young dinasarous who just cant find their place anymore .Why don't they just kick it in like their sisters? Don't they know boys can't be boys anymore. Those days are as dead as the playing outside and getting dirty and just yakking around. That's what boys do.

Used too anyway.

www.billhazelgrove.com
Rocket Man...the silent shame of fathers and sons
 

Books by William Hazelgrove