Sunday, February 17, 2013

Floating Septic Tanks and Meteorites

Four thousand people defecating in a floating septic tank. The feces washing down the halls in tidal pools of human excrement. Cruise lines that are floating buffets where all you do is eat eat eat until all you do is shit shit shit. And somehow you never think about that. You just think about the midnight buffet and how amazing it is you can eat all the shrimp and sushi that you want and eat all the chocolate eclairs and donuts and cakes and muffins and pie and ice cream and that it all must go somewhere in those tidy steward attended rooms. Maybe into the sea?

But of course like a meteor promising our extinction it hits you in a flash. It goes nowhere. It stays with us in our orbiting defecating feces populating planet that whirs and dives and shakes and shimmies as 700,000 ton space balls are lobbed at us by the Gods with one having our names on it just like the dinosaurs And like the four thousand souls sleeping on deck to escape their own flowing excrement we dance on oblivious to our strange spot in the universe.

That creatures who supplanted dinosaurs should evolve to the point where they put a large septic tank on the open water and have four thousand people float around eating and shitting and paying thousands of dollars to do it makes up wonder if a giant meteorite should not wipe us out after all. Do white terry cloth robed people trying to escape their own waste deserve to be the ones who beat the odds and dodge the next Ice Age lob from outer space? Or like the people on the Carnival line, maybe finally we deserve what we get.

Maybe we are finally glutinous creatures who eat until we drop and then complain about all the shit we produce. Bring on the big one the Gods must say. These people are idiots.

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Rocket Man...the Catcher in the Rye for the Great Recession Generation
 

Books by William Hazelgrove