Monday, January 28, 2013

Age Attacks

Just had my first age attack. Went to a dinner and the man having it demanded to know my age. I told him. He didn't believe me. Come on now you are older than that. No. I am not I told him. He said. Now I know you are older than that because I know I am a lot younger than you. Nope. That is my age. Still he would not give it  up and muttered, well you look older. And he was not done yet. Dinner was  enjoyable and by the end all seemed well. But as I was walking out the door he said, now, come on...how old are you really? 

In the car driving home I realized I had just suffered my first age attack. But really, it was my second.  I was at another friends for dinner when a man started commenting on my shoes. Nun Bush I told him when he asked what kind they were. In fact I had just bought them and they were basically Doc Martin ripoffs. What kind of soles do they have? Are they soft soles? He demanded. I had no idea I said, but I offered up my soles and he  nodded. I thought so. Later,  I realized what he had been saying...old people have to wear soft soled shoes.

Lets face it the youth culture has done no one any favors. "Hope I die before I get old." Boomers invented it and now they are stuck with it. And you may think well what is the big deal in these situations. In a way they are small potatoes but the truth is people of a certain age want to make damn sure you are aging right there with them. Worse, they want to find your Achilles heel. Chronology is not age. Age is a matter of how you are decaying and at what rate. Some of us decay more slowly than others. Some of us decay at an accelerated rate. But people sniff something if you do not seem to be showing the outward signs of age.

But there are people who are obsessed and who feel old and demand you feel old too. It is sad and this is just the beginning. But I really do believe you are as old as you feel. If you feel old then you probably are. But does it really matter? Really? There is some of "you see you are just like us in the end."  But the truth is the old people were old when they were young and young people will stay young until they croak.

No matter what kind of shoes you wear.

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Rocket Man...the American Dream Upside Down
 

Books by William Hazelgrove