Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Price of Having Children Later

It is always the choice. Have kids early so you can return to the halcyon days before kids after they head for college...or party like crazy in the city for as long as you can and then have kids. The people who had children early have not turned back into bacchanalian hellcats who fire up their old college days if not at least the post college days of being single and going out every night. Age will have it's due and women become cautious and men become staid. You go out to dinner a few times more...maybe.

But what about those people who put it off and had their kids as the grey creeps into hairlines and that old fountain of energy has started to dim. They found out something too. The assumptions were that you would have more money more maturity more time to handle the titanic task of raising children. Whoops. None of these are true. You are just as broke, just as pressed, and that maturity slips out the window as you trip over toys and bicycles and have your DVR blown out by kid shows as ICarly beats on your noodle like a vicious metronome. In short, you have miscalculated badly.

Women enter menopause and men enter dullard land. Everyone is aging way too fast for the task in front of you. And now there are studies that this flood if not Tsunami of ADD Autistic kids that is overwhelming the schools and social services and making the drug companies rich beyond belief is rooted in old sperm and mutating DNA. These are no longer theories but fact. The ninety percent increase in autism in the last ten years is now tied to old tired sperm. And our riddlin nation is being tied to mom and dads strange DNA in those very ripe eggs and spermatozoa. It would seem our bodies don't really do very well after the early twenties in terms of reproduction.

And so the vaunted payoff of doing it all does not really work out in the end. I know a man who clearly looks like someone's grandfather. It was with shock I saw his nine year old son. He told me he and his wife decided very late in life they wanted a kid. So they had one. Maybe he will beat mortality tables and keep his health and things will work out. But maybe...just maybe....he should have thought about having kids a little sooner.Say twenty years.

I guess it comes down to we really can't really have it all. What a concept.

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Books by William Hazelgrove