Book Trailer The Noble Train

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Republicans should stop eating Tea Party Nuts

First of all they are really fatty. Tea Party nuts are loaded with saturated bigotry and that is really bad for you. Its been proven that too much bigotry will make you fat, bloated, slow and people will move away from you because TPNS make your breath really rank. Also TPNS cause gas. Lots of gas. People who eat TPNs have incredible flatulence. This can be traced back to the ingredient hatred that is found in these nuts. Experiments found that only hours after eating TPNS people cleared out rooms with their gaseous xenophobia and racism.

And of course TPNS clog your arteries with lies. Many eaters of TPNS for instance started saying they didn't believe the President was really the President. Take Donald Trump. A big eater of TPN's. The man just cannot quit lying and farting. He is convinced the President is from Mars. It's really quite amazing a man as rich as Donald Trump doesn't understand how bad TPNS are for him. Other famous eaters of TPNS are Newt Gingrich and even Mitt Romney. He has been known to eat a few before speeches.

Now you can recognize TPNS by their white color. They are most exclusively white and grow only  in rural areas of the country. Also many TPNs are old by the time they are eaten. This gives the nuts their distinctive sour flavor and smell redolent of a shut in in a nursing home. Eaters of TPNS have found to be psychotic after eating the nuts and waving a yellow flag with a serpent at passing traffic. The worst TPN is the  Norquist strain of these nuts. Many people who eat the Norquist TPNs do strange things like vote against their own social programs like Medicare or Medicaid. Programs the TPN eaters all use. They even vote against their own health care programs.

Finally insanity follows. TPN eaters truly believe it is 1955 and wonder around muttering strange idioms like: Sarah? that you John and Sarah? Many have to be institutionalized. We have found that the Republican party has been inhaling these TPNS for the last four years. And we fear for their health.

If not their sanity.

Books by William Hazelgrove