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Monday, November 26, 2012

New Computer Hell or Windows Eight

So the old laptop had gone freakoid. Forget that I was operating in Safemode to keep it from crashing, it now came up with a new trick. The shut down. Just cruising along and it would decide to shut down. Boom. Turned off. Then I would have to take the battery out and shake it three times and do a dance and then shove it back in a few times to get the hard drive to fire up. Many times it would refuse and then finally the old wheel would begin again and like an old car (computer probably eight years old) it would fire up and I could get a little further. But my time was limited even with saving everything on drop box and stripping it down. Everything breaks down eventually including people. So I bit the bullet.

An Acer Ultrabook loaded with Windows Eight. Every new piece of tech from my android phone to my Kindle HD has a learning curve. You know you are in it because you literally get a headache from doing battle. The battle lasts about a week. It takes a week to decipher what the software engineer had in mind and how you could make peace with his design and your purpose. Sometimes you never make peace. That's called returns. But I was determined to bring my laptop under control and do it quickly. Then I met Windows Eight.

Now Windows even Vista which I have on my laptop is fairly easy. Drag and drop and move around and navigate. Not too much chaos. But the dude who came up with Windows Eight (I heard he was fired...no kidding) had a little too much juni juice or something and tried to reinvent the wheel. There is that old saying. If it aint broke don't fix it. Nobody told his guy that and so what he did was he took a fairly simple straight forward design then got massively stoned and said....what if?

What if there was no Start Menu. You just opened it and it was on. And what if we made windows into Tiles that would float around like flat aliens against a screen of blue. And what if one of those Tiles was your old DESKTOP. And what do you do with those tiles that float up from nowhere without a Start menu but a big area that says START where you can type and something resembling a Start menu will flood your screen. Or how about an area called CHARMS that kicks up weird settings and search icons and then disappears for no reason. And what if the Desktop and the Tiles switched back and forth for no reason? And do you hang with the Tiles or your old Desktop because they do the same thing?

So he took another hit and said you had to have a Microsoft email for anything to work. And it really doesn't like your Android and doesn't want your photos and while you are typing away the whole screen flips to the Internet or weird programs keep telling you that you cant use your camera right now. And what if someone just wanted to get their work done and didn't really care about his vision for a new improved Windows eight? What if his ideas don't match yours?

Anyway. I will continue to do battle. A week out of your life is not so much. Or is it?

www.billhazelgrove.com
 

Books by William Hazelgrove