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Friday, October 12, 2012

Paul Ryans Malarkey

Joe said it best when he turned to Ryan. That's a bunch of malarkey. My fathers favorite expression whenever I tried to talk my way out of something. I knew the jig was up and he wasn't buying what I was selling and neither was Biden buying what Ryan wanted to sell. The malarkey is the Ayn Rand devotees prescription for what ails the United States. If we can all drink the same Randian Kool Aide of Social Darwinism run amuck then Paul would have been fine and Joe could have signed onto his sans entitlement world where the wealthy have free rein and dribble down the crumbs to the middle class. But Joe threw out the line.

The malarkey man just couldn't get a break. Not when he presented his New World order of Medicare with his voucher state. Joe told him it was malarkey because it was just another way to slice up the same old apple that Republicans have hacking at ever since Medicares inception. They hate the program. They always have. All the way back to the New Deal. They just cant stand that the middle class gets a piece of their one percent pie and so Ryan thought he could dribble and shoot one over poor old Joes head with his voucherized world. But Joe told everyone the malarkey would cost 6400 a person and faced the camera and told people to use their common sense.

Paul didn't care for that so he threw the malarkey out about his take on abortion. The Pro Life zealot tried to dance away from that one by saying he never bought off on the Supreme Courts original decision. Poor Mitt was grinding his teeth back stage after he said they would leave Roe V Wade alone and there is Paul saying he didn't believe in the original law and then Joe told everyone the dirty secret of the two Supreme Court appointees coming up. Which way do you think these guys are going to go? He asked. The malarkey deflator struck again.

So Ryan tried to malarkize the tax cut for the rich. He tried to pitch that one as the Job Creators Trickle Down Save Us All con. And Joe said the malarkey was holding the middle class hostage so the rich can keep their five hundred billion that would flow into the treasury if those tax cuts expired. So the malarkey man doubled down and tired to explain that in the winter there was no fighting in Afghanistan and the poor remaining American soldiers had to hack it out in spring. And Joe told the malarkey man that wasn't true because the Afghan troops were filling in for Americans sent home.

And so the malarkey man could only take a final shot and say the forty seven percent comment was like Joe spouting off. And while everyone laughed  Joe said he only says what he means and so does Mitt. And then he said the stimulus was an utter failure and a waste of money and full of pork and Joe had to demalarkize him again by citing two letters he wrote asking for that stimulus money. And in the end the Malarkey man could only stare at the television and ask for our vote because without it the country was headed for certain doom.

Now that is a bunch of malarkey.

Books by William Hazelgrove