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Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Dr. Akins Legitimate Forcible Rape

You gotta love the Republicans for putting legitimate next to rape. Or how about forcible rape. Now lets all take our stupid pills and do this one together. Rape and forcible. Hmm. Isn't rape by nature forcible? But to Todd Akin there is nothing forcible about rape. All these women are faking it so they can run right down to the abortion  clinic. Busting it out for all that free abortion. Yeah. Lets stop paying for all those unforcible abortions. Now that will knock down the deficit.

But Akin is a player. He didn't stop there. Legitimate rape. Here is the man himself. "Aw, dontcha know...the female body has a way of stopping pregnancy in legitimate rape as opposed to illegitimate rape. You see there is a pac man that is released that eats the sperm in a legitimate rape. Aw...this is all very scientific and proven by the best minds money can buy donthca ya know." Ah. I see Dr. Akin. Do you concur then that there is no need for abortions in the case of rape because of the pac man corollary? I concur. Now an illegitimate rape the pac man does nothing. But there is no need for abortion either.

And now the Republicans are running scared. Especially Fric and Frac of the button down set. They cant get enough distance from poor old Todd. "We don't believe in forcible legitimate rape and we repudiate the pac man theory. And we don't stand by anything we said before about abortion which was pretty much what Todd said, but that was yesterday. And this is today." So there you have it. The legitimate forcible rape postulate. And the hits just keep coming.

But you know all these Republican men, they know all about the female body. They are well versed in the private parts of women. I mean they are married and they know the difference between raping their wives (legitimate rape) and forcible rape (tying up their wives) and illegitimate rape (They really wanted it anyway) And a lot of them are premed (the pac man sperm killing theory) So rest easy women of America. The Republicans know what is best for your bods.

Books by William Hazelgrove