Book Trailer The Noble Train

Friday, March 2, 2012

Republicans need to get laid more

The dudes who aren't getting any are always the grouchiest. Cranky. In college guys would just get kind of bitchy and you knew they weren't scoring. And they hated the guys who had all the girls. Males need sex like females need sex but maybe males need it more. We just get kind of weird and withdrawn and go off on weird tangents like who should get birth control or should women be insured at all (see the Blunt amendment just defeated)  And so you have to wonder if the Republicans (the males) are getting any.
I would say not.

How else could you explian a guy like Ric Santorum? Talk about Mr. Fun. Mr. Sexually frustrated telling everyone they shouldn't use contraception. He and Ron Paul were the wild and crazy guys at the last debate telling everyone they have a morality problem because that's what sex is without marriage. Hmmm. Then the rest of the chastity belt gang swung in and now you have lots of tight collar white guys telling women they really should have an invasive ultrasound before that abortion (cue morality police) Better yet just don't have sex unless you are making babies like big Rick.

And the Blunt Amendment almost made it through and bluntly almost knocked women right off the pill and anything else an employer might have to fork out for...So sorry ladies. No more sex. No more pills. It goes against our religious beliefs. Better yet...QUIT HAVING SEX. Look how well adjusted we are. Just go ask all those dudes in the Catholic church how celibacy works for them. Or how about Rush beating up on the college student because she wants some contraception. Slut is the word the fat one used. Nice Rush. Real nice. Now there is a guy who really needs to get laid.

Well...I digress. But you really have to believe that all this could be avoided if Republicans just got some.You know just some bed banging great sex, then they could light up a cigarette, order a pizza, fire up the DVR and call it a day. Yeah...contraception they'ld murmur. I get it.

Books by William Hazelgrove