Book Trailer The Noble Train

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Delusional Newt

Hmm...remember the kid who held his breath until he got his way? Remember he would turn red and his cheeks would blow up like balloons with his arms crossed, head wagging, eyes puffing, turning red then blue, nearly passing out....well, that's Newt. Doesn't matter if he loses every primary he is going to stay in. Delusional is a word that come to mind followed by farcical, fanciful, conspiratorial, sad, pathetic, pomposity, bellicose, moronic, nearsighted, bellicose, megalomaniac, stoned, dim-witted...Ok Ok. You get the point. But the point is that Newt will never quit. Never.

He can't. If he quits then he disappears into Newt Land. Ghostwritten books, multiple wives, snarky lobbying, flim-flam organizations, influence pedaling, space colonies. And he wants to be around to throw those final grenades at Santroum and Mitt. Why? Because if he cant win then nobody is going to win. This guy has an ego that just keeps giving like gas or toxic waste or raidoatcive sludge. Newt is not good for anybody except Newt. He certainly isn't good for the Republican party.

So now as Santorum and Romney march along, Newt is devising a grand strategy for an end run on Super Tuesday. Hmmm. Lets see. If the earth tilts to the right and Romney falls into the Mormon sea and Santorum's nose bends a little more to the right, then I can claim victory by default and if that doesn't work I can storm the convention, give a speech without a teleprompter, tell everyone I am the greatest thinker since Jefferson Washington and Lincoln, scratch that, greater than Lincoln Jefferson and Washington and that Brad Pitt will have his hands full playing me in a movie (his pick for actors to play him) and that I will come down and personally kick the liberal elite media squarely in the gonads.

Then I will fly off in a spaceship where I will run the country from a colony on the moon called NEWTLAND. Yeah, that will work.

Books by William Hazelgrove