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Friday, November 11, 2011

Bring on The Newt

Talk about a train wreck. Newt is going up in the polls now that Perry imploded and Herman is busy Nine Nine Nining as many women as he can find. Perry (OPPS) Man from Texas has permanently shot himself in his Tony Lamas with a bullet to the Department of Energy that he couldn't remember to save his life. Mr. Opps looked permanently dumbfounded with his less than stirring assertion of agency elimination. Even the Tea Party faithful had trouble with that one.

And Herman just cant quit with his bold plan to sexually harass as many women as he can find. With his nine nine nine plan he figures he can scare the rest of the women into silence with his hired guns ratatat on the poor Chicago woman who has had several bankruptcies and filed for Sexual Harassment before. Victims beware. But the bloom is off the Pizza Man and hes now preaching to a choir of one while he sings Imagine one more time and calls Nancy Pelozi a Princess. Can anyone say, smarmy?

So that leaves Newt the pompous ass of all time. Does everyone know he was a history professor at one time? He likes to let you know that and if you don't know it he will let you know it and obviously you haven't read the books Newt has. Did you read the one on shutting down the government in the nineties and getting the republicans thrown out of both houses. Yeah, he wrote that one. Or the one about multiple wives he left to go after richer wives? He wrote that one too.

How about the one where he dons not to answer interviewer questions because they are below him and absurd or that his foundation took three hundred grand as a lobbying organization. Yeah he wrote that one too. The Newt is a learned man and he will let you know from his space ship silver dome as he lords over the other candidates. Father Newt has arrived and he will not lower himself to the mainstream media.

So we can only hope that the Republicans keep Mitt out because he's a Mormon. That seems to be the case. And they bring on the Newt. Think the Grinch. The last scene where the Grinch is caught by the little Cindy LouWho no older than two. Why...why Newt are you now the nominee? Because my dear, desperate times require desperate measures. And my party is desperate.

Books by William Hazelgrove