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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Strange Unreality of the Republican Debate

You have to wonder what planet the Republican debate took place on? I'm guessing  Saturn with the big rings blocking the view of planet earth. Or maybe the candidates were busy watching the scene in Dr. Zhivago right before the Russian revolution where the elite are having Christmas dinner while the revolutionaries marched in the streets. Rod Stieger could have even raised his glass and said, recession, what recession? And everyone could have a good laugh and continue talking about things that don't matter to anyone except the twisted few who still believe America can return to 1955.

Take Herman Cain. He obviously has been watching his own video singing Imagine as the pizza king because he couldn't imagine what the Wall Street protesters want." What do they want Wall Street to do, write them a check?" Sure Herman that's what they want the bankers to do which led to Ron Paul being the only one breathing oxygen in the room as he said  "They should have written a check to the American people instead of all those banks." But of course that went over like Sputnik. Silence.

And then there was the Michelle Bachman show, citing Obamas aunt and uncle as being illegal immigrants. She has obviously left Saturn for distant stars as her own star continued to fade. Even her Navy buttons and matron hair couldn't give the seriousness that even the scarecrow beat her out on...if only I had a brain. Then there was the Mitt Perry comedy hour. The Smothers Brothers of our time. The only thing missing was the boxing match as they hacked out over who could be more cruel to immigrants and those in dire need of health care. Perry really looked like he might punch Mitt out when he put his arm on his shoulder.

Then Newt the professor lording from above. The pompous ass of our time telling everyone to quit bickering to hide his own total irrelevancy while sucking on the tit of fading star power. And  poor Ric Santorum trying to drive a stake into Romney's health care heart, hoping for a knockout punch while quoting from Mitts book. It didn't help Mr. Holier than thou at all it just made him look like a yappy dog going for the throat. And Ron Paul playing his habitual role of the crazy uncle who just doesn't believe in them horseless carriages when horses are just fine.

And through it all there is the feeling that this Star ship is destined to crash on the shoals of American capitalism. As people take to the streets here is Hoover festival of prosperity is right around the corner if we can just get rid of the black guy and let business do what it wants. Missing of course was the minstrel actor saying, " but boss, business has done what it wants for thirty years and look where we are." But no one opened the door for that walk on part.

So we were left with a bunch of people who hate each other and really don't care too much for the millions who cant find a job or losing their homes. What we really needed was Charleton Heston on his horse coming to the statue of liberty, beating the sand, "the bastards, they blew it up." But he couldnt get into the debate with a loin cloth. Can't you see Obama having some popcorn with Michelle and laughing his ass off.

Books by William Hazelgrove