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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Why Michele Bachmann gets migraines

You have probably heard that Michele Bachmann gets excruciating migraines. This is not surprising. Imagine her poor brain trying to follow her mouth. Migraines are caused by many things but the biggest is what's called inconsistent thinking. This is where her own brain rebels against itself. It is all very scientific and Michelle is a perfect example of inconsistent thinking. Take the debt ceiling. She says let it rip. Don't raise it. Everything will be just fine. Of course that is one half of her brain talking. The half wired to her mouth. The other half that is musty and smells like a closed up box is saying what are you crazy? Our credit rating will be destroyed and interest rates will skyrocket!

This is but one example that drives her own brain crazy and into migraine territory. Or how about water the tree of liberty. Again her own brain doth protest too much about watering the tree of liberty. Is she calling people to commit violence if they don't get their way? Or how about gay marriage? This one really ties her brain up in knots. She is against it and her husband is against it and they run organizations trying to talk people out of homosexuality. Her poor brain just goes into fits trying to stop her mouth on that one.

Or whenever she speaks to her tea party brethren and the lies and half truths come out so fast her brain overloads with flashes of DID SHE REALLY SAY THAT. IS SHE REALLY THAT STUPID. And then her brain realizes she is that stupid and this depresses the part she rarely uses and the whole thing just shuts down and she goes into a migraine meltdown. The only known cure for this horrible disease is a radical cure. Masking tape over the mouth. The good news is there is a one hundred percent cure rate.

Rocket Man will be released in July

Books by William Hazelgrove