Book Trailer For Madam President

Monday, May 2, 2011

Inside the Birther Limousine

Bad news Mr. Trump. Yes? Obama just got Osama. Really? Yes sir. Well, has this been confirmed?  Yes sir, by many independent sources. Huh. Well, it just goes to show you what lengths he will go to perpetrate this fraud on the American people. Sir? Don't you get it? He didn't really get Osama. No? Of course not. First of all has anyone actually seen the body? No sir. Buried at sea by Muslim Custom. HA! There you go. Of course he was buried at sea, that way they don't have to produce a body. Very clever.

Sir, you think the President faked Osamas death? Of course he did! Look it's very clever. I might have done the same thing for my show ratings. You are falling in the polls and then you do something really spectacular to turn your ratings around. What is more spectacular than taking down Bin Laden? I see. Look, I don't blame the President, I would have probably done the same thing, but where he blew it was this whole burial at sea business. What I would have done is had a body made up to look like Osama and showed it around first. Then at least a few people would have believed him.

But sir the whole world is celebrating. Apparently more than a few people believe that he actually got Osama. Hmm.. I think we are missing the main point here. Sir? Well, it;'s perfectly obvious where he slipped up, where is the birth certificate?  The President showed his sir. No, dummy, Osamas! Where is his birth certificate? I don't follow you sir. Listen, if they really got him, then they would have his birth certificate right? Sir, I'm not sure they have Birth Certificates like we do. A likely story. Look, show me a birth certificate and not a certificate of Live Birth or one all doctored up like the Presidents.. A REAL ONE. Then we can talk.

I see. Oh yes. The President is very clever. Look I might have tried the same thing, but you have to have a birth certificate to show this is Osama and I don't see that here. Yes sir. I wonder if the President would consider coming on my show. It would be a great TV moment. How sir? Then I could ask him for his birth certificate and Osamas, real one two punch. Yes sir. And then when he didn't; produce it, I could say, YOUR FIRED. But he's the President sir. Look, if you are on my show, then you are fair game. I've fired lots of Presidents. Yes sir. There's a reason my show is number one.

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Books by William Hazelgrove