Now you know exactly what is going on in your account. Great. So does your wife or your husband. At first you love this ability to see every transaction flowing in and out of your account. No more surprises. You see instantly every little trip to the grocery store, every little trip to Starbucks, Ace, McDonald's, Dairy Queen, your favorite Salon, Bistro, bar. Everyone knows exactly what is going on in that account and when times get tough you watch it like a hawk. Suddenly you have been reduced to a child.
I saw you went to Starbucks. Busted. You plead innocence but the blinking screen doesn't lie. Your wife sits there tapping the computer and you promise not to do it again. Oh you got your nails done I see. She hides her hands and shrugs, saying that it was in the budget. Uh huh. Or I saw you went to Wendy's again. I thought we weren't doing that anymore. A hundred bucks at Target! For What? Oh, just felt like you had to have a beer. I thought we agreed to consult each other.
Now you are freaked. You can't buy a pack of gum without it being tagged by Ground Control. So you revert to pulling twenty dollar shots out from nondescript ATMS. No electronic trail. What are all these ATM withdrawals? I dunno you shrug. Maybe someone got our code. Hmmmm. I'm going to call the bank. Cash is king again. A beautiful non traceable thing. Go get drunk, blow it on a meal, go get your haircut. Go crazy! Problem is cash can only be pulled from the cyber central. WHAT IS THIS HUNDRED DOLLAR WITHDRAWAL!
You fantasize about losing it. You think about going on debit card binge leaving transactions all over the city like dead soldiers. I ate, I drank, I traveled. HA! I am a SPENDAHOLIC and I don't care. I don't care! Go ahead and track me I'm Osama Bin Laden with a debit card mowing down departments stores with my plastic! But then you realize you have to remain married and your fantasy withers and you face those frosty eyes again....so, you just had to go to Dunkin Donuts again? You shrug innocently.
I didn't go to Dunkin Donuts.
William Hazelgrove's latest novel is Rocket Man due out in the fall. The story of a man trying to keep his home.