Book Trailer The Noble Train

Friday, April 17, 2009

Texatina or Bust

I am disappointed. Texatina may not be a reality. Governor Perry seems to be backing off. Bummer. I was looking forward to a little international travel without leaving the United States. I could get a passport and when they ask where I am going, I could stick out my chest and declare--TEXATINA! I mean they would have to change their name if they became a country. I mean Texas is a little too provincial. But that's a country!

Also, I was looking forward to the flag. I'm thinking something simple. A boot maybe floating in a sea of white. Possible some steer horns. Or a simple cowboy hat. I suppose one of the Bushes might be President of Texatina. I mean it makes sense. They are there and they have a lot of experience. Also. I wanted to visit a country where everybody packs a gun. Sort of like visiting the Wild West. That's why I always bring a bulletproof vest when visiting Texatina.

The National Anthem. Hmmm....I'm thinking the theme song from Rawhide. Rollum Rollum Rollum Rawhide! I think this would be fitting since probably Rawhide, Bonanza, Dukes of Hazard and the Beverly Hillbillies would be the cultural equivalent of our Seinfeld. Giant would be shown twenty four seven as their Gone With The Wind. Secretary of State could be T Bone Pickens and the national flower would obviously be a Cactus.

Now when traveling in Texatina I would want to see the historical sites. The Glen Beck Monument which used to be called the Alamo. Dallas where Dallas was filmed. Um....ok that's it for historical sites. I'd also like to see the Great Wall of Texatina facing Mexico--construction commencing soon after they succeeded--also the Great Wall of Texatina facing us and the rest of the World. You can never be too careful.

Finally, I really enjoy driving my rented pickup with my cowboy hat along the dusty back roads of Texatina and taking in a little Texatina football with the Texatina cheerleaders. I love that poofy blond hair and accents--come to think of all Texatina women have poofy blond hair and accents. But I guess that's all off now. Now that they want to stay in this crummy old union. Guess I'll just stay home. Because for me, it's Texatina or bust.

Books by William Hazelgrove